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In this month's article, Retirement, I invite you to consider some of the issues that often accompany retirement.
In Tips for Coping with Transitions, I offer tips to help us when we adapt to any transition in our life.
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Retirement is a time of change. With it comes new, unanticipated, and unexpected facets of life.
Our "normal" routine will now be replaced with a "new normal." An important question is, "Do WE define what that looks like or do OTHERS?"
It is all about change and each of us deals with change differently. Some of us embrace it. Others of us challenge it. And there are those of us who resist it.
When we anticipate our retirement, we sometimes overlook (and often this is the case for men) an important awareness that "hits" us when we retire. Some of us feel we have lost a main part of who we are (our sense of self, our identity, our platform) and along with that, our confidence. For many people they felt they "were" their work. Right or wrong, it game them a sense of purpose and meaning.
Successful retirement consists of those same two essential elements: We do better in retirement when we feel a sense of purpose and meaning.
Entering retirement can be a time of rich self-reflection and discovery. There are those who have waited a lifetime to develop a hobby, return to school, begin a new business, travel, write, paint, volunteer, tutor, learn a skill, engage philanthropically, become politically active, or something else. For each of us it is different, and we must begin where we are. We ask ourselves, "What am I meant to do NOW?"
Retirement can be about beginning a "next act." It can be exciting but it can also be devastating. Everyone needs the right support and tools to deal with retirement for oneself and with one's partner. During this time, we can be aware of how we want to engage with others; how we hope to be seen and heard. Some of us will mourn the life we retired from, and we are are not yet sure what the next phase of our life will be.
It is important to take the time we need. Perhaps we can begin an exercise regimen which will help us be healthy (release those endorphins), get up at the same time each day! Think about what we are good at, what we enjoy, the kinds of things we never did but thought about but couldn't because you were a single mom and a busy worker. We can take time to write how we are feeling and what we may wish to do and what we might like to accomplish in our lives over the next years. As we write, we do better when we silence our inner critic. We need to just write. Whatever appears on the list, sit with it for a while. Whatever we do can be based on OUR choices.
There is a lot to consider. Is our retirement with or without a partner? Are we passionate about or already engaged in something? Do we feel connected in some way that is meaningful? Is what we hope to do stimulating? Will it include friends or new colleagues of different ages? We need to ask ourselves what are our expectations of ourselves and others? What are the realities of our physical limitations, and what can we do about them? Do we need / want to move? And if so, near whom do we want to live? What would you like to do?
A Good Daily Habit
Savor the Individual Moments.
Moments of happiness are often discovered in unlikely places. It is up to us to notice them. It is up to us to enjoy them. Every day we can notice the abundance in front of us.
|Sanity SaversTM TIPS
Tips for Coping with Transitions
We all experience transitions in our lives. Planned or unplanned, they can be both positive and negative. Some transitions happen without warning and can be dramatic -- accident, death, divorce, job loss, serious illness. Others, although expected and planned, are often no less dramatic -- marriage, have a baby, change of jobs, retirement, or move to a new city. We sometimes believe that because a transition is planned, that we will be prepared. Not necessarily. Even when we are prepared, there are usually surprises.
All transitions alter our lives.
Transitions can help us learn about our strengths and encourage us to explore and face what we want out of life. Even those transitions that fill us with doubt or remorse such as the loss of a person, a job, a role, or sense of where we fit in the world, can be instructive. We may focus on the feeling of being unmoored, anxious, nervous, or fearful, but ultimately, that can serve as a bridge to paying attention and developing our growth, reliance and strength.
As we leave behind the familiar and adjust to a new way of living, we can remember that life is an every changing process with many series of beginnings and endings.
These tips may be helpful when adapting during times of transition:
Accept Changes as a Normal Part of Life. - Everything has its season. We can look to nature to inspire us as we develop inner strength and courage. Where we are now will change.
Identify Our Values and Life Goals. - Break the cycle of caring about what others think and focus on what WE want. Transitions, whatever the source, offer us opportunities to reexamine our priorities, values and life.
Learn to Identify and Express Feelings. - Writing often helps to examine the layers of our life that become exposed as a result of experiencing transition. Hiding from or denying insightful self-realization can prevent valuable growth.
Don't Be in a Rush. - There's no quick fix. We need to "BE" where we are; Pause and breathe.
Expect to Feel Uncomfortable. - The only way out is by going "through" the experience.
Protect Your Health. - We can do what we can, every day, to refill your personal reservoir. Eat mindfully, exercise according to your capacity at THIS time, enjoy friends, laugh, learn, nurture our spirit.
TODAY Show (NBC).
Dr. Atkins is a frequent contributor.
Please check website, www.drdaleatkins.com, for updated appearances.
June 30th, 1PM, and 10PM EST: The Value of Vacations.
See www.veria.com for channel information.
Sixty and Me Interviews
Four interviews with Dr. Atkins, conducted by Margaret Manning, covering the following topics: stress and worry, care-giving, downsizing, and friendships.
http://sixtyandme.com/elderly-care-how-to-be-a-caregiver-while-taking-care-of-your-own-life-interview-with-dr-dale-atkins/, and http://sixtyandme.com/how-to-deal-with-loneliness-in-retirement-interview-with-dr-dale-atkins/
Experience Life Magazine
The Cares of Caregiving, by Jon Spayde. Interview.
March, 2014 issue.
I hope you enjoy my chapter, "Family Involvement and Counseling," in the new text, Introduction to Aural Rehabilitation, Second Edition.
Edited by Raymond H. Hull, and published by Plural Publishing.
I invite you to visit my website to access archives of articles and interviews on line.
My sincere thanks to website developer, Barry Brothers, who, along with Carina Ramirez Cahan, brought vision and positive, creative energy to the site. Do take a look at Barry's work here: http://www.thelimulusgroup.com/bb and consider him for your business, development, design and communication needs.
|Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life
SANITY SAVERS: Tips for Women to
Balanced Life is filled
with suggestions to save
every day of the year.
A must for any woman
seeking to find her balance!
Once again thank you for continuing to read
and talk about Sanity Savers: Tips for
Women to Live a Balanced Life.
WE CAN ALL ADDRESS THE LITERACY
CRISIS IN THIS
COUNTRY. Jumpstart is a national early education organization that recruits and trains college students and community corps members to serve preschool children in low-income neighborhoods in year-long mentoring relationships. Jumpstart also partners with families, preschool centers, institutions of higher education, community groups and a variety of other groups and individuals to make certain that every stakeholder in a child's life is working to provide them with a high quality early education.
Jumpstart's proven curriculum helps children develop the language, literacy, and socio-emotional skills they need to be ready for school, setting them on a path to close the achievement gap before it is too late.
Please help to spread the word about the mission of Jumpstart and the remarkable strides being made in low income neighborhoods every day. If you can, contribute by clicking on www.jstart.org/donate
www.jstart.org/donate. Over one million children live below the poverty level in the U.S. This shameful situation must change. Each of us has a responsibility to repair our world. Let us eliminate the 2-year achievement gap that exists between children from low income and those from middle income neighborhoods when they begin kindergarten!
to learn more about Jumpstart
initiatives - such as Scribbles to
Novels - held on May 13, 2014, at Cipriani Wall Street. Laura Schroff, author of An Invisible Thread, was our featured guest.
"There is no happiness; there are only moments of happiness."
DALE V. ATKINS Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist,
lecturer and commentator in the media who
on the Today show.
She has more than twenty-
years of experience and focuses on living a
life, parenting, aging well, managing stress,
work transitions, family connections and healthy
Dr. Atkins is the author
and/or co-editor of several books including:
A Practical, Helpful Exploration of the Intimate and Complex Bond between Female Siblings From the
Their Private Thoughts about their Private
Families and their Hearing-Impaired
OK, You're My Parents
Let Go of Anger and Create a Relationship that
Wedding Sanity Savers
Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes and
Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect
Savers: Tips for Women to
Find out more....
As Seen on the TODAY SHOW!
Wedding Sanity Savers
How to Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes and Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect Day
You're My Parents
How to Overcome Guilt, Let Go of Anger, and Create a Relationship That Works