In Giving Back, I discuss the value to others as well as to yourself when you make an effort to improve the world by giving to others.
In Tips for Decision Making, I offer suggestions for harnessing anxiety so it does not interfere with thinking clearly as you contemplate important life decisions.
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Community service expands your world and can be done at any point in your life. Even if you are in the throes of building your career, raising your children, or taking care of your parents, there is something you can do to serve outside the parameters of your life. Giving touches us in ways beyond our imagination. Each of us can do something to IMPROVE the world. If we look at how much there is to do we may feel overwhelmed and discouraged. So begin small and see how you can make a difference, one idea, one action, one change at a time.
Research confirms that giving also benefits our health. When people are open to their connectedness, and engage the world through acts of compassion and concern it almost inevitably benefits their own physical and mental health. It is a win-win situation. Finding something you believe in; to be of service to another or to a cause, helps improve someone else's situation and, incidentally, will likely contribute to increasing your well being as well. Why? Because you incorporate some of the elements important to happiness such as: recognizing and experiencing a positive emotion; being fully engaged in something; having meaningful, positive relationships; being part of something larger than yourself; believing that your life has meaning; feeling a personal, spiritual connection; and setting and achieving goals.
Clearly, when considering giving the DEEPEST motivation needs to come from a concern and compassion for others. It is good to know, however, that helping others is good for you, too. Doing something out of a generous kindness has an effect on your physical body.
The more we engage with others, the more that health benefit comes back to the person who is extending that effort. We don't do it because we want to feel better, but the fact is, when we help with an open heart, we inevitably do feel better.
A Good Daily Habit
Be Mindful of Your Actions
The term, "collateral damage" is usually reserved for the military. Sadly, it has become part of our lexicon, given the state of the world. I have come to think of collateral damage as "any unintended damage or injuries, incidental to an activity, caused by an action".
With this in mind, contemplate adopting a daily habit of considering the consequences on others of the collateral damage caused by your actions. For example, when you feel exasperated, irritated, and succumb to a rage - filled angry outburst, ponder the effects on those around you. Take a moment to reflect on the person you want to be and then make a conscious effort to be that person in each interaction you have. In other words, live your life in a manner that would make you proud. Interact with ALL people in a way that underscores your values. Think of constructive, healing interactions rather than those that come from self-hatred. Live every day as if you are living your BEST self.
Remember that whatever we do affects others. You can minimize the "collateral damage." Your daily habit may be to look at a note that you write to yourself asking, "what kind of person do I want to be today?"
You have every right to your emotional life. You do not have the right to behave in a way that can cause damage to those around you as you express the emotion you feel.
|Sanity SaversTM TIPS
Tips for Decision Making
It's time to make an important decision. Should you change your career or retire early? Purchase a new home? End a relationship or friendship?
Can you trust yourself to go about it in the healthiest way?
Whatever it is you are dealing with, while considering the options, you need to keep your wits about you, as well as the ability to focus on keeping your sanity. Give yourself time. Consider the potential consequences of your decision on yourself as well as on others.
Decision making can allow you to explore alternatives you may not have known were available if you harness the anxiety you feel so it does not become an obstacle. Following are some tips to guide you:
Be in "Calm." - You'll need to relax as you decide what to do. Clear your mind. Quiet your "critical" mind. Tame the worries. Silence the "should" and "shouldn't" and listen to your supportive "inner voice" so you can consider all of the options. Begin with your "gut" instincts. Visualize different alternative scenarios or pathways. Do your research and homework. Gather reliable information from trustworthy sources. Consult people whose input will be empathetic and who understand your situation and goals.
Write Down Pros and Cons. - Keep notes and go back to them often, at different times of the day. Your "morning mind" and your "evening mind" may offer different insights. Record the pluses and minuses in separate columns on the same page. Play out certain scenes in your mind. What would your life be like if you did not work at this company? What would likely happen if you "downsized" and changed neighborhoods? How might you flourish if you and your partner were no longer together? What would you be missing? What would you need? Be honest with yourself.
Let Intuition Be Your Guide. - Relax and "see" yourself doing what your sixth sense leads you toward. Listen to your inner voice and let it guide you. Without being critical or overly emotional, trust in your ability to select what will be a healthy choice for you.
TODAY Show (NBC).
Dr. Atkins is a frequent contributor.
Please check website, www.drdaleatkins.com, for latest updates, including changes of time.
Dr. Atkins comments on breaking news for CNN's HLN. Please check HLNtv.com for updates.
JUMPSTART for Young Children 20th Anniversary .
January 29th: 5:30PM. Honoree (along with the founders, David Carmel, Jordan Meranus, Aaron Lieberman and Rebecca Weintraub; Robert Rosen; and the Pearson Foundation).
Smithsonian Castle (The Commons Room), Washington, DC.
YWCA of Greenwich BRAVA Awards for 2013.
Honoree of the YWCA Greenwich BRAVA Awards.
Luncheon to be held on Feb. 8, 2013, 11:30AM to 2PM at the Hyatt Regency Greenwich. RSVP by January 18, 2013.
Proceeds support free services to victims of domestic violence, scholarships for preschool, afterschool, summer camps, and aquatic program, free women's leadership seminars, free racial justice activities, and subsidies for YWCA programs not covered by dues and fees.
TC Today Magazine
Dr. Atkins is the focus of Work - Life Balance, written by James Reisler. Access PDF of the article at www.drdaleatkins.com.
Topics by Dr. Dale Atkins:
Tips for Getting Along with In-Laws: http://video.about.com/marriage/Tips-for-Getting-Along-With-In-Laws.htm;
Warning Signs of a Troubled Marriage: http://video.about.com/marriage/Warning-Signs-of-a-Troubled-Marriage.htm;
Issues to Deal with before Marriage: http://video.about.com/marriage/Types-of-Issues-to-Deal-With-Before-Getting-Married.htm;
Warning Signs of Cheating Spouse: http://video.about.com/marriage/Warning-Signs-of-Cheating-Spouses.htm;
Tips for Maintaining Interfaith Marriages: http://video.about.com/marriage/Tips-for-Maintaining-Interfaith-Marriages.htm;
Tips for Growing Old Together:
and, Most Important Questions to Ask Before Getting Married: http://video.about.com/marriage/Most-Important-Questions-to-Ask-Before-Getting-Married.htm.
Visit Marlo Thomas' site to access my relationship column and Mondays with Marlo video stream. http://marlothomas.aol.com/search/?q=dale+atkins
Read Dr. Atkins' chapter, "Therapeutic
Issues with Recipients of Cochlear Implants,"
in the new text, Psychotherapy With Deaf
Clients From Diverse Groups, Second Edition.
Edited by Irene Leigh, and published by
Gallaudet University Press.
Read Dr. Atkins' chapter, "Family
Involvement and Counseling in Serving
Children Who Possess Impaired Hearing,"
in the new text, Introduction
to Aural Rehabilitation.
Edited by Raymond H. Hull, and published by
I invite you to visit my website to access archives of articles and interviews on line.
My sincere thanks to website developer, Barry Brothers, who, along with Carina Ramirez Cahan, brought vision and positive, creative energy to the site. Do take a look at Barry's work here: http://www.thelimulusgroup.com/bb and consider him for your business, development, design and communication needs.
|Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life
SANITY SAVERS: Tips for Women to
Balanced Life is filled
with suggestions to save
every day of the year.
A must for any woman
seeking to find her balance!
Once again thank you for continuing to read
and talk about Sanity Savers: Tips for
Women to Live a Balanced Life.
JUMPSTART for Young Children's 20th Anniversary Celebration. I am delighted to announce that my husband, Robert Rosen, and I, and the Pearson Foundation, have been chosen as honorees for the 20th Anniversary Celebration of Jumpstart . January 29th: 5:30PM.
Smithsonian Castle (The Commons Room), Washington, DC (please see below for a more complete description of Jumpstart's mission).
WE CAN ALL ADDRESS THE LITERACY
CRISIS IN THIS
COUNTRY. Jumpstart is a national early education organization that recruits and trains college students and community corps members to serve preschool children in low-income neighborhoods in year-long mentoring relationships. Jumpstart's proven curriculum helps children develop the language, literacy, and socio-emotional skills they need to be ready for school, setting them on a path to close the achievement gap before it is too late.
Please help to spread the word about the mission of Jumpstart and the remarkable strides being made in low income neighborhoods every day. If you can, contribute by clicking on www.jstart.org/donate
www.jstart.org/donate. There is something that every single one of us can do to help those less fortunate. Over one million children live below the poverty level in the U.S. This shameful situation must change. Each of us has a responsibility to repair our world. Let us eliminate the 2-year achievement gap that exists between children from low income and those from middle income neighborhoods when they begin kindergarten!
to learn more about Jumpstart
initiatives - such as Scribbles to
Novels; We Give Books; and Read for the Record.
"We have been created for greater things, not just to be a number in the world. Not just to go for diplomas and degrees. This work and that work. We have been created in order to love and to be loved."
DALE V. ATKINS Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist,
lecturer and commentator in the media who
on the Today show.
She has more than twenty-
years of experience and focuses on living a
life, parenting, aging well, managing stress,
work transitions, family connections and healthy
Dr. Atkins is the author
and/or co-editor of several books including:
Their Private Thoughts about their Private
Families and their Hearing-Impaired
OK, You're My Parents
Let Go of Anger and Create a Relationship that
Wedding Sanity Savers
Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes and
Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect
book . . .
Savers: Tips for Women to
Find out more....
As Seen on the TODAY SHOW!
Wedding Sanity Savers
How to Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes and Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect Day
You're My Parents
How to Overcome Guilt, Let Go of Anger, and Create a Relationship That Works