We live in a very open and accessible world. Consider, for example, how simple it is to get information about people through the Internet. There is no doubt that is true -- not that the information is true -- the fact that we have access to information (truth or fiction or somewhere in between).

When we are not on the internet, and are with someone in person, our "spectator status" gives us the opportunity to hear or see something first hand. Are there guidelines that prescribe how public our personal observations should be? As a house guest, dinner guest, travel companion, or just hanging out with someone, when we have access to a portion of their private life, what, if any, is our responsibility regarding what we see or hear? Extended time with others allows us to be privy to both verbal and non-verbal conversations and interactions. In a different circumstance, we would not have access to their private life which, in reality, is not our business.

We may overhear a health-related conversation, witness a couple's argument about money, or see our friends' teenagers respond disrespectfully to their parents. We see these exchanges at a moment in time, when our paths cross, without context or history. We witness, absorb, interpret, and likely, attribute personality attributes to these people resulting from our observations. We may determine that they are "a certain way" and we may be right -- for that moment.

Whatever we conclude regarding that person, couple, or family -- unless someone is in danger-- it is probably wise to keep our observations to ourselves. We can ask ourselves how we would feel if someone saw us in such a moment, drew conclusions about us based on that moment in time, and then shared them with others. For many of us, what other people think isn't that important, and for others of us, it matters a lot. As hard as we try, or as much as we would like, none of us behaves luminously all of the time. Additionally, hearing personal information which clearly is not our business, does not give us the right to pass that information along. When we find ourselves as the "onlooker" in these circumstances, we need to carefully think through whether and what we share. Proximity does not appear to be a good enough reason to talk about someone's private life. We can all ask ourselves whether, because we believe we are "in the know", we have the right to share personal information.

Building an Island of Respite

The key to high performance is managing our energy, not our time. We can't always be doing and giving without depleting our well of strength. When our energy level starts to fall, it's time to replenish.

For some of us, that means being with others in a relaxed setting. For others it is being quiet and alone.

We can't have vacations every day, but we can create an island of rest and recuperation in our busy days by creating a few moments to recharge.

Find a way to re-energize daily so that your well does not run dry.

Recently, in the days following Hurricane Sandy and the follow-up snowstorm, Athena, when so many were without power, internet, cable, I was keenly aware of the distress so many people were experiencing. In this context I was reminded of the importance of performing rituals. Personal rituals can be significantly helpful when dealing with stressful times. When the storms of life come upon us (hurricanes, earthquakes, floods, tornadoes, health, family and job challenges all qualify) practicing established or new rituals can have an almost instant, salubrious effect. They can be essential for enhancing your own self care and can improve in your outlook.

Whether we perform an inner healing ritual, request a blessing, engage in a special tradition for a particular occasion, or do a simple, everyday task, rituals can be encouraging, reassuring, and comforting. Holding onto our routines and customs helps maintain our sanity and promotes balance in our life.

Performing a personal ritual can help us gain insight when we are dealing with change, and keep us grounded; reminding us of who we are, at our core, when "storms" attempt to knock us off our center.

Ways to enhance the meaning of ritual:

Keep It Simple.

Suspend judgment and allow yourself to "be."

Appreciate new insight that may come from the performance of the ritual.

Keep your heart "open" to deepen the meaning.

Stay focused.

Enjoy the process.

TODAY Show (NBC).
Dr. Atkins is a frequent contributor.

Please check website, www.drdaleatkins.com, for latest updates, including changes of time.

Dr. Atkins comments on breaking news for CNN's HLN. Please check HLNtv.com for updates.

Temple Sholom Sisterhood
Nov. 15th: 6PM, cocktails; 6:45, dinner. Speaker: Strategies for Living a Balanced Life.
300 East Putnam Avenue, Greenwich, CT.
Email gemdeb@aol.com for further information.

Atria Ryebrook
Nov. 26th: 11AM. Speaker: Happiness.
1200 King St., Rye Brook, NY.

TC Psychology Roundtable - The Psychological Impact of Spirituality
Nov. 27th: 6-7:30PM. Panelist, Psychology Roundtable Series. Panelists will explore the topic of spirituality and the mind/body link.
Teachers College, Columbia University. For more information or to RSVP, please visit http://www.tc.columbia.edu/calendar.htm?EventID=11450.

YWCA of Greenwich BRAVA Awards for 2013. I'm happy to announce that I will be an honoree of the YWCA of Greenwich BRAVA Awards for 2013.
Luncheon to be held on Feb. 8, 2013, 11:30AM to 2PM at the Hyatt Regency Greenwich. RSVP by January 18, 2013.
Proceeds support free services to victims of domestic violence, scholarships for preschool, afterschool, summer camps, and aquatic program, free women's leadership seminars, free racial justice activities, and subsidies for YWCA programs not covered by dues and fees.

Reform Judaism
Focus: Shanda -- What Will the Neighbors Say?!, a conversation with Edythe Mencher and Dale Atkins. Winter 2012 issue.
http://reformjudaismmag.org/Articles/index.cfm?id=3124.

Volta Voices Cover Story
Connect with Dr. Dale Atkins, written by Susan Boswell. January/February 2012 issue.
Published by Alexander Graham Bell Association for the Deaf and Hard of Hearing.

TC Today Magazine
Dr. Atkins is the focus of Work - Life Balance, written by James Reisler. Access PDF of the article at www.drdaleatkins.com.

About.com
Topics by Dr. Dale Atkins:
Tips for Getting Along with In-Laws: http://video.about.com/marriage/Tips-for-Getting-Along-With-In-Laws.htm;
Warning Signs of a Troubled Marriage: http://video.about.com/marriage/Warning-Signs-of-a-Troubled-Marriage.htm;
Issues to Deal with before Marriage: http://video.about.com/marriage/Types-of-Issues-to-Deal-With-Before-Getting-Married.htm;
Warning Signs of Cheating Spouse: http://video.about.com/marriage/Warning-Signs-of-Cheating-Spouses.htm; Tips for Maintaining Interfaith Marriages: http://video.about.com/marriage/Tips-for-Maintaining-Interfaith-Marriages.htm;
Tips for Growing Old Together:
http://video.about.com/marriage/Tips-for-Growing-Old-Together.htm;
and, Most Important Questions to Ask Before Getting Married: http://video.about.com/marriage/Most-Important-Questions-to-Ask-Before-Getting-Married.htm.

Visit Marlo Thomas' site to access my relationship column and Mondays with Marlo video stream. http://marlothomas.aol.com/search/?q=dale+atkins

Read Dr. Atkins' chapter, "Therapeutic Issues with Recipients of Cochlear Implants," in the new text, Psychotherapy With Deaf Clients From Diverse Groups, Second Edition.
Edited by Irene Leigh, and published by Gallaudet University Press.

Read Dr. Atkins' chapter, "Family Involvement and Counseling in Serving Children Who Possess Impaired Hearing," in the new text, Introduction to Aural Rehabilitation.
Edited by Raymond H. Hull, and published by Plural Publishing.

I invite you to visit my website to access archives of articles and interviews on line.

My sincere thanks to website developer, Barry Brothers, who, along with Carina Ramirez Cahan, brought vision and positive, creative energy to the site. Do take a look at Barry's work here: http://www.thelimulusgroup.com/bb and consider him for your business, development, design and communication needs.

SANITY SAVERS: Tips for Women to Live A Balanced Life is filled with suggestions to save your sanity every day of the year.

A must for any woman seeking to find her balance!

Once again thank you for continuing to read and talk about Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life.

WE CAN ALL ADDRESS THE LITERACY CRISIS IN THIS COUNTRY. Jumpstart is a national early education organization that recruits and trains college students and community corps members to serve preschool children in low-income neighborhoods in year-long mentoring relationships. Jumpstart's proven curriculum helps children develop the language, literacy, and socio-emotional skills they need to be ready for school, setting them on a path to close the achievement gap before it is too late.

Please help to spread the word about the mission of Jumpstart and the remarkable strides being made in low income neighborhoods every day. If you can, contribute by clicking on www.jstart.org/donate www.jstart.org/donate. There is something that every single one of us can do to help those less fortunate. Over one million children live below the poverty level in the U.S. This shameful situation must change. Each of us has a responsibility to repair our world. Let us eliminate the 2-year achievement gap that exists between children from low income and those from middle income neighborhoods when they begin kindergarten!

Visit www.jstart.org to learn more about Jumpstart initiatives - such as Scribbles to Novels; We Give Books; and Read for the Record.

"Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a songbird will come."

Chinese Proverb