SANITY SAVERS: Tips for Women to Live A Balanced Life is filled with suggestions to save your sanity every day of the year.

A must for any woman seeking to find her balance!

Few people are whom we would like them to be. If we could all create the personalities that would go smoothly with our own we might have an easier time, in the day to day. But would we be content?

Life may be less volatile and with fewer conflicts, and that could be good for one's blood pressure, but is it better for one's overall health? In some situations, definitely yes. In others, well, perhaps learning to listen empathetically, letting go of a need to control, manipulate, or influence toward a particular outcome, is a better route so that two people who don't agree can still live together respectfully and share their independent views.

If these people were exactly as we wish they would be, for certain, we would miss the opportunity to see the world through the eyes of someone we care about. But generally, we are not interested in seeing the world through their eyes. We want them the see the world through our eyes, and not make trouble. We want them to just go along without challenging us.

Boring, yes. Unexciting, yes. Less stressful? Perhaps. Living with and / or loving someone whose view of the world or other people is so different from your own can be a significant challenge. A sense of humor helps. Avoiding topics that are mine fields helps sometimes but then, over time, there amass a significant number of topics to avoid and one's conversations become dialogues on a series of edited, pre-scripted, safe topics.

Instead of providing comfort or a safe haven for one another, expressing an opinion about politics, children, grandchildren, in-laws, is a call to arms (and not the hugging kind). One partner sees his or her role as convincing the other to change their opinion about the issue or person rather than just allowing their partner to vent, express disappointment, anger, hurt, or whatever feeling they have. For the partner, it is just too painful to see the person they care about moving in a direction of separating themselves from a family member.

Be open to the endless possibilities for growth and appreciation.

TODAY Show (NBC)
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Visit Marlo Thomas' site to access my relationship column and Mondays with Marlo video stream. http://marlothomas.aol.com/search/?q=dale+atkins

Darby and Friends
Archived from April 1st: Talking About Difficult Things
http://www.wgch.com/showarchive/dandf.shtml

Read Dr. Atkins' article about charitable children, at www.jccgreenwich.org/index.php?option=com_myblog&Itemid=91.

Read Dr. Atkins' thoughts on baby name issues at: http://www.babycenter.com/0_i-regret-the-name-i-gave-my-child_10346611.bc,>
and: http//www.babycenter.com/0_someone-stole-my-baby-name_10346610.bc,
and: http://www.babycenter.com/0_people-hate-my-babys-name_10346609.bc.

Read Dr. Atkins' And Edythe Mencher's article in Reform Judaism Magazine,
Winter 2010 Issue, Cover Story: Behind Bullying, and When Jack Pushed Jill Down the Hill.
Online at www.reformjudaismmag.com.

Read Dr. Atkins' chapter, "Therapeutic Issues with Recipients of Cochlear Implants," in the new text, Psychotherapy With Deaf Clients From Diverse Groups, Second Edition.
Edited by Irene Leigh, and published by Gallaudet University Press.

Read Dr. Atkins' chapter, "Family Involvement and Counseling in Serving Children Who Possess Impaired Hearing," in the new text, Introduction to Aural Rehabilitation.
Edited by Raymond H. Hull, and published by Plural Publishing.

I invite you to visit my website to access archives of articles and interviews on line.

Managing Your Mood With Movement"

Some days you can feel your mood drop. When you can't get outdoors, feel overwhelmed with too many things, or can't focus on any one thing, your upbeat outlook may wane.

Instead of reaching for a drink or comfort food, move your body. Depending on how you feel and what you need, moving will help release the "happy hormones" that will contribute to saving your sanity as you improve your mood. Try swinging your arms, first in small circles and then in increasingly larger circles. Or, gently move your body by lifting of one foot and then the other, and then reach up to the sky with one arm and then the other.

Simple movement can help you to manage how you feel.

Everyone has done something "stupid" in their life. Most of us, more often than not. Losing the keys, having a wallet stolen, realizing when you are en route to the airport that you don't have your passport, forgetting to print out directions, leaving food outside of the refrigerator each, in its own way, make a person feel awful about the fact that they were not focused, mindful, or paying attention when whatever it was, occurred.

Whether it is your friend or your partner who made the mistake, you can be confident that they don't feel so great about it. Criticism does not help and will very likely intimidate and hurt their feelings - neither of which will help solve the problem.

Consider the following tips next time this happens:

Control Your Response. - You will likely feel frustrated and upset and whatever else you may feel, but that does not give you permission to insult your friend or call them "stupid."

Respond with Empathy. - You can say something like, "Oh, that's awful" or "I am sure you feel dreadful," "Is there any way I can be helpful?" Be supportive. Show compassion.

Appreciate that your friend or partner may feel worried, embarrassed, ashamed, and disappointed, among other feelings. Your reproach, attack, or condemnation will only hurt your relationship in the end.

"Nothing can bring you peace but yourself."

Ralph Waldo Emerson