In Adult Bullies,
I discuss what is underneath some of the
"bully motivation" and how to handle it when
someone bullies you.
In Celebrate Life, I offer tips to
look at life a little differently to
appreciate the gifts that surround us all.
WE CAN ALL ADDRESS THE LITERACY
CRISIS IN THIS
COUNTRY. Jumpstart is a national
early education nonprofit organization that
pairs caring adults with underserved
preschoolers in year long one-to-one
mentoring relationships. Visit www.jstart.org
to learn more about Jumpstart,
initiatives - such as Playdate With A
Purpose, Read for the Record, and
events like Scribbles to
Novels. If you would like to make a
you may do so at
Once again thank you for continuing to read
and talk about Sanity Savers: Tips for
Women to Live a Balanced Life.
Check my website,
updates on my appearances. For
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Wishing you health, peace and balance.
|Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life
SANITY SAVERS: Tips for Women to
Balanced Life is in bookstores and
with suggestions to save
every day of the year.
A must for any woman
seeking to find her balance!
When we think of bullies, we often think of
child bullies. We assume that as kids grow
up, they grow out of behaving in such
disrespectful ways. Unfortunately, many
people do not grow out of it and adult
Adult bullies generally have an attitude and
that they are "entitled" (worth more than
someone else) and therefore deserve to be
treated differently than the rest of the
world. People who feel entitled will bully,
intimidate, shame, and humiliate others to
get their needs met. Often these people
change facts and information to benefit
themselves and their usual mode of
communication is by commanding others.
Many bullies, at their very core, feel
inadequate, insecure, and inferior. Often
they have been treated badly and are fearful
of others so they puff themselves up and
bully through a situation. By making others
they feel better.
If you are bullied, it is important to
realize that it is not your fault. Everyone,
INCLUDING BULLIES, is responsible for how
they treat others.
When bullied, resist the temptation to reply
in a nasty way. This is challenging but
remember that bullies seek a reaction from
their victims. Reacting nastily will likely
and possibly worsen their unwanted behavior.
Try "killing them with kindness." Often what
inspires a bully to be mean is an assumption
target is threatening in some way.
By demonstrating that you don't intend harm
and are willing to be friendly, you may be
able to encourage a more positive response.
However, if after several attempts to be kind
there is no change, shift your approach. You
certainly don't want to reward obnoxious
Try responding assertively. Self-assured
body language (i.e., looking the
person directly in the eye; standing erect and
"grounded") using a clear and firm tone of
voice, and using strong words are often
effective in combating
the bullying behavior if done in the early on.
If all else fails, consider enlisting
someone's help or, simply, walking away.
When dealing with a person who has some power
over you, be cautious. Sometimes you
may not have a choice but to appear to go
along with their demands as you build
strength, connections, or power in
anticipation of turning the tables.
TODAY Show (NBC)
Please check my website,
for the most current updates.
WKTU-FM Radio Interview on KTU Cares
May 16th: 9-9:30AM: Jumpstart's Playdate
with a Purpose and the Issue of Early
KTU airs on Sunday mornings and focuses
specifically on issues impacting the NY
community. Available on www.KTU.com for
Read Dr. Atkins' and Rabbi Edythe Mencher's
interview about inheritance in Reform
Summer 2010 Issue: When Scott Got More
Online at www.reformjudaismmag.com.
Read Dr. Atkins' chapter, "Therapeutic
Issues with Recipients of Cochlear Implants,"
in the new text, Psychotherapy With Deaf
Clients From Diverse Groups, Second Edition.
Edited by Irene Leigh, and published by
Gallaudet University Press.
Read Dr. Atkins' chapter, "Family
Involvement and Counseling in Serving
Children Who Possess Impaired Hearing,"
in the new text, Introduction
to Aural Rehabilitation.
Edited by Raymond H. Hull, and published by
See Making the Case for Family
Dinners, at iVillage.com: http://www.ivillage.com/making-case-
Also see Googling Patients: Should
Psychiatrists Research Cases Online? at http://www.politicsdaily.com/2010/04/18/googling-patients-should-psychiatrists-research-cases-online/
A Good Daily Habit
Leaving enough money in the vending machine
for the next person to get a free treat,
putting a flower in a neighbor's mail box, or
picking up litter are simple ways to spread
You may wonder, "Why bother? Isn't it enough
to be kind to family members, friends and
Simple acts of kindness are demonstrations of
the generosity of your spirit, done to put a
smile on someone else's face. Even when done
anonymously, you will reap benefits in terms
of joy and purpose.
|Sanity SaversTM TIPS
Tips For Celebrating Life
Spring is moving into summer and for many
that means an opportunity to celebrate the
joys of life by visiting loved ones, relaxing
on holiday, cutting back a stressful schedule
and taking some moments to "smell the roses."
So why is it so difficult for many of us to
sit quietly, relax, and just be? Unless we
are busy, moving, and engaged in a "project"
we do not feel worthwhile.
When we think about celebrating life we can
become conscious of appreciating that which
we have in our lives. We can do this by
making an effort to be aware of :
The Health We Have - instead of the
illness that is draining or diminishing.
The Relationships That Are Solid and
Pleasurable - rather than those that
fill us with distress and disappointment.
The Abilities We Have and That Serve Us
Well - instead of areas that are
The Joy That Comes From Laughter -
so that we can laugh heartily and often.
Being Present and in Each Moment -
to keep a handle on tendencies to worry about
the past or future.
Allowing Your Senses To Guide You,
Uncritically, Into Heightened Awareness -
instead of denying or judging that which you
see, hear, smell, taste, and feel.
"Crisis becomes the call from the
higher self to meet the unlived life, to
resurrect those dormant powers that yearn to
DALE V. ATKINS Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist,
lecturer and commentator in the media who
on the Today show.
She has more than twenty-
years of experience and focuses on living a
life, parenting, aging well, managing stress,
work transitions, family connections and healthy
Dr. Atkins is the author
and/or co-editor of several books including:
Their Private Thoughts about their Private
Families and their Hearing-Impaired
OK, You're My Parents
Let Go of Anger and Create a Relationship that
Wedding Sanity Savers
Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes and
Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect
book . . .
Savers: Tips for Women to
Find out more....
As Seen on the TODAY SHOW!
Wedding Sanity Savers
How to Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes and Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect Day
You're My Parents
How to Overcome Guilt, Let Go of Anger, and Create a Relationship That Works
Now in Paperback!