SANITY SAVERS: Tips for Women to Live A Balanced Life is in bookstores and is filled with suggestions to save your sanity every day of the year.

A must for any woman seeking to find her balance!

In my book, Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life, the first entry is making a "new" new year's resolution. The focus is on attitude. A healthy attitude helps people become more conscious partners with themselves as they try to introduce lasting change into their lives. We are more likely to have our resolutions come to fruition if we are mindful of setting reasonable and realistic goals.

Yes, you can lose 20 pounds by starving yourself but to make significant life changes to keep those 20 pounds off, then it is the long term attitude, complete with a plan and support from caring people, a commitment to what life would be like living within the framework of a healthier lifestyle (complete with exercise, good nutrition, and a workable stress management program) which will enable you to keep off those 20 pounds.

What makes a difference is to think about what is really important in our lives as we consider how the way we live reflects our values. Considering ways to make significant change is easier if we examine what is truly meaningful. Explore what ignites your passion. People who love animals but don't have pets can get their "animal fix" as well as making a significant contribution by volunteering at an animal shelter or walking a neighbor's dog on a regular basis.

If your resolution is about being less stressed, think about which small changes you can institute to reduce your feeling overwhelmed. Maybe being less connected from work in the evening (turn off the PDA for 2 - 3 hours), making a commitment to walk in nature every week, enroll in a relaxation/breathing, meditation, tai chi or yoga class. If you want to revitalize your interest in live music, sign up for a concert series and put those dates on your calendar. Just knowing you did it will make you feel you are reaching a "reasonable" goal that will occur year long.

Remember, successful resolutions are closely tied to your attitude about being able to make something happen. Believe you can do it and put into place short term, "doable" steps to help you to make it to your goal. Reward yourself along the way. Be your own cheerleader. Remind yourself of what is possible. Keep yourself "real" by reading inspirational stories of others who have accomplished what you are trying to do. Keep your focus on challenging yourself in order to grow and change. Remember all change has some discomfort along the way. Keep sight of your goal to help achieve it. Old attitudes as well as other people's perceptions of you can hold you back from achieving your goal. Go off the familiar path to find new ways of thinking and looking at yourself and go for it.

TODAY Show (NBC)
Jan. 1st: New Year's Resolutions You Can Keep.
Please check my website, www.drdaleatkins.com, for the most current updates.

Read Dr. Atkins' chapter, "Family Involvement and Counseling in Serving Children Who Possess Impaired Hearing," in the new text, Introduction to Aural Rehabilitation.
Edited by Raymond H. Hull, and published by Plural Publishing.

See Making the Case for Family Dinners, at iVillage.com: http://www.ivillage.com/making-case- family-dinner/3-a-62563

See Dr. Atkins' and Rabbi E. Mencher's article, Are You a Buttinsky?, in Reform Judaism Magazine, Fall 2009/5769, pg. 8. www .reformjudaismmag.org. There is also a complimentary discussion guide offering thoughtful questions for conversation.

Choosing Happiness

When we are under stress or pushed to the edge of our sanity, it is easy to get upset and dwell on our anger, and then react. Why not try something different?

You can choose to think about a situation differently, thus giving you the opportunity to experience a different sort of emotional response. True happiness comes from within; it can't be forced by outside forces. So how do you choose happiness? The same away you choose to smile or choose to wear a certain outfit. You choose it because that's what you want to experience in your life.

At first it will be difficult to just switch your thoughts and feelings from anger, self-doubt, or fear to joy and happiness. But it is only a thought away. Move on and choose to be happy.

It's inevitable that at some point we will have to spend time with people we don't like. Maybe you don't like your spouse's best friend or your daughter's boyfriend.

Here are some simple tips for getting through these tricky situations:

You Don't Get Along With A Relative - This is someone you can't avoid completely but with whom you can spend only so much time before he/she starts to drive you crazy. Keep activities confined to neutral zones, such as going to a movie or a restaurant. Don't try to redesign someone's personality. Focus on one or two admirable qualities.

You Don't Like Your Partner's Friend - See this friend through your partner's eyes. Maybe they have a long history together; they may have helped one another through some difficult life challenges. You are not there to judge. Find something you like or can appreciate about this friend. Tell your partner that you are fine not being included in some of their time together. However, if there is something important in the friend's life, put your feelings aside and "show up."

You Don't Like Your Child's Spouse - Even when it is tough, make every effort to get along with your child's spouse. Care about him/her and show respect. Avoid criticizing and saying anything bad about this person unless you see your child is in danger and then, say whatever you intend to say with great care and tact. You don't want to put your child in the middle of a conflict between you and his spouse, and it is not fair to make your child choose between the two of you.

You Don't Like Your Houseguest - Try to carve out some time for yourself. Find something relaxing and recharging that you love to do. Take a quiet walk by yourself. Have a relaxing bath. Meditate. Consider having them do some dishes or fold some laundry; this can help to greatly reduce your own stress level, and possibly enjoy some time with your guests.

"Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man."

Benjamin Franklin