As we come to the end of the first decade of
the 21st century I am struck with how quickly
time goes by. I think about the type of world
we live in and how we can use the time we are
given to make the world a better place, for
I talk about the importance of becoming aware
of bullying (in person and on the internet.)
Tis the season to be safe and secure.
Children need to feel that they can turn to
the trusted adults in their lives to help
them when they are the target of bullies.
In Morals and Values, I talk about the
importance of knowing ourselves and what is
truly important to us as we examine how
children learn life's values.
WE CAN ALL ADDRESS THE LITERACY CRISIS IN THIS
COUNTRY. Jumpstart is a national
early education nonprofit organization that
pairs caring adults with underserved
preschoolers in year long one-to-one
mentoring relationships. Visit www.jstart.org
to learn more about Jumpstart and events.
If you would like to make a contribution,
you may do so at www.jstart.org/don
Once again thank you for helping to get the
word out about Sanity Savers: Tips for
Women to Live a Balanced Life.
Check my website, www.drdaleatkins.com
updates on my appearances. For
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Wishing you health, peace and balance.
|Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life
SANITY SAVERS: Tips for Women to
Balanced Life is in bookstores and
with suggestions to save
every day of the year.
A must for any woman
seeking to find her balance!
Bullying is a social problem most often
associated with children and adolescents.
Ask most adults where they think most
bullying happens and they will say in the
locker room or the playground. With the
advent of increased internet access, children
today also face cyberbullying.
Bullying is all too common among
children. Sixth-graders appear to be the
most vulnerable, according to National Center
for Education Statistics. Furthermore, you
don't even have to be a bully or a bully's
victim to be harmed; simply being a repeat
witness to bullying can
result in fearfulness, feelings of
powerlessness, guilt, and diminished empathy,
which is why it is essential that we teach
"bystander children" by example and by
role-playing the importance to them, their
friends, and to society, the value of
speaking out against bullying behavior
whenever they see it.
How do you as a parent confront the
challenges in identifying when a
child has been bullied and determine the best
response? First, it is important to note any
changes in a child's demeanor. Has his
appetite decreased suddenly? Is she sleeping
less? Is he afraid to go to school? Spending
time in a fun activity together may help you
sort out underlying issues.
If your child is being bullied, determine the
seriousness and frequency of the behavior.
Low-level bullying, along the lines of making
faces, while unpleasant, is
something you and the child can discuss and
strategize for possible approaches. You can
bring this to the attention of the school to
discover what its policy is regarding
bullying behavior. You can encourage your
child to refrain from attacking
his bully or showing anger at the behavior.
Often, when the recipient of an
insult does not show an emotional response,
that stops the bullying because it is no
longer "fun" for the bully. However the
behavior still needs to
be addressed and stopped.
If your strategies fail, or the bullying
level involves threats or physical harm,
since you have already alerted the school you
will need to follow up. Call or email the
appropriate contact to inform them of the
incidents and your inability to effect
change. In a cooperative, direct manner seek
their help regarding possible solutions. Be
specific about what plan they intend to
utilize and what you can do to be helpful.
Follow up on what has been done
and ensure that the school has a
zero-tolerance policy for bullying.
the remarks or actions are oriented toward a
child's race, religion, background,
appearance, size, gender, or sexual identity,
bullying has no place in a child's life. As
the Anti Defamation League (ADL) suggests in
their cyber bullying awareness programs for
children of all ages, if you would not say it
to a person's face, don't write it in an
e-mail or text message, and don't forward it.
For more information about bullying and
programs to address it, please visit www.adl.org.
Children need to feel safe (cyberbullying
invades a child's "safe" place of home, since
many children carry their phones on them and
their computers are often in their rooms) and
resources to respond appropriately.
A caring adult in their life is one such
TODAY Show (NBC)
Jan. 1st: New Year's Resolutions You Can
Please check my website, www.drdaleatkins.com,
for the most current updates.
The Core Club
Dec. 2: 6-8PM. Featured Speaker:
Is Happiness Contagious?
66 E. 55th St., New York, NY.
Jewish National Fund
Dec. 15: 12 - 2PM. Featured Speaker:
Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a
Asia Society Garden Court Cafe, 725 Park
Ave., New York, NY.
Read Dr. Atkins' chapter, "Family
Involvement and Counseling in Serving
Children Who Possess Impaired Hearing,"
in the new text, Introduction
to Aural Rehabilitation.
Edited by Raymond H. Hull, and published by
See Making the Case for Family
Dinners, at iVillage.com: http://www.ivillage.com/making-case-family-dinner/3-a-62563
See Dr. Atkins' and Rabbi E. Mencher's article,
Are You a Buttinsky?, in Reform
Fall 2009/5769, pg. 8. www.reformjudaismmag.org.
There is also a complimentary discussion
guide offering thoughtful questions for
See Dr. Atkins' article, Sanity Savers for
a Balanced Life, in Black Tie Magazine,
Volume 7, Issue 1, pg. 64. www.blacktiemagazine.com
A Good Daily Habit
Building Your Resilience
Resilience involves maintaining flexibility
and balance in your life as you deal with
stressful circumstances and traumatic events.
You can do this daily in several ways,
including: letting yourself experience
strong emotions, and also realizing when you
may need to momentarily put them aside in
order to continue functioning; stepping
forward to take action as you deal with
problems and meet the demands of daily
living. Step back to rest and
reenergize yourself. Spend time with
loved ones for support, encouragement, and
nurturing. Know when to ask others for help.
|Sanity SaversTM TIPS
Morals and Values
Tips For Teaching Children
In our hectic, 24/7 lives, children face many
choices. Providing them tools to build a set
of values is one of the most important things
an adult can do. Opportunities to talk about
values and morals are everywhere. They are
not just learned at school or from a
textbook; young people must see them in
action. Parents are their primary teachers.
Values and morals are often intertwined, and
they are also internal, making it difficult
for children to "see" these beliefs and
attitudes and qualities at work. Children
learn from your behavior as well as
discussions related to the choices you make.
Here are some tips to consider:
- Shift the Focus - Instead of
telling your children, "the most important
thing is that you are happy," think about
this: "the most important thing is that you
are kind, and that you are responsible for
- Help Children Appreciate Others -
Don't let them treat a store clerk, waitress,
or babysitter as if that person is invisible.
children to help around the house, and to be
helpful to others. If your child wants to
quit a sports team or chorus, make sure they
think carefully about what it means for the
- Establish Your Relationship As The
Primary Model - Expect your children to
appreciate your relationship with each other.
means not allowing your children to treat you
as a doormat. Expect them to express some
interest about your life and to thank you for
- Listen Carefully
- Help your child register kindness and
unkindness, justice and injustice in the
world. Listen to your child's moral
questions and dilemmas, and encourage
discussion attempting to see their point of
view. When the time is right, express your
own values, finding a way to connect them to
your child's experiences. There is a lesson
in everything. Just be careful about
lecturing, sounding pedantic or condescending.
Teaching children values and morals starts
with an understanding of our own values and
morals. Once we are clear on these, we can
always note the lessons embedded in most
interactions. We can also set some time aside
each week or month to discuss them with our
children, and provide them the tools to
navigate their lives.
"Happiness is when what you think, what you
say, and what you do are in harmony."
DALE V. ATKINS Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist,
lecturer and commentator in the media who
on the Today show.
She has more than twenty-
years of experience and focuses on living a
life, parenting, aging well, managing stress,
work transitions, family connections and healthy
Dr. Atkins is the author
and/or co-editor of several books including:
Their Private Thoughts about their Private
Families and their Hearing-Impaired
OK, You're My Parents
Let Go of Anger and Create a Relationship that
Wedding Sanity Savers
Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes and
Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect
book . . .
Savers: Tips for Women to
Find out more....
As Seen on the TODAY SHOW!
Wedding Sanity Savers
How to Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes and Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect Day
You're My Parents
How to Overcome Guilt, Let Go of Anger, and Create a Relationship That Works
Now in Paperback!