We are entering the month of October in the
midst of tremendous flux and uncertainty in
our country. It is easy to react to
circumstances over which we seemingly have no
control. During this time, I encourage you
to be proactive in those areas of our lives
where we have more influence than we may
realize, and find a daily balance in our
In Aging Well in an Unwelcoming
Environment I focus on the need for all
of us, whatever our age, to pay attention to
our own attitudes about aging and developing
meaningful intergenerational relationships.
In this month's tips, Getting Through the Day:
Tips for Having a Bit Less Stress and a Lot
More Enjoyment, I offer tips to guide
your thinking from negative to positive in
the face of life's challenges.
Can you imagine your childhood without your
favorite stories? Neither can I. That is why
I ask you to donate to Jumpstart's Read for
the Record, an early childhood literacy
campaign that encourages adults to read the
same book on the same day with a child in
their life to break a world record. With
just a small donation of $10, you will
provide a copy of this year's campaign book,
Corduroy, to a child in a low income
community. Watch the TODAY show (NBC)
on October 2nd and become a part of
the Read for the Record campaign. Visit www.readfortherecord.org
to learn more.
Once again thank you for helping to get the
word out about Sanity Savers: Tips for
Women to Live a Balanced Life.
Check my website, www.drdaleatkins.com
updates on my appearances related to my
newest book, Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to
Live a Balanced Life. For those of you with
wedding related questions, please see my
column on WeddingChannel.com at:
And if you would like me to speak to your
group or organization, please contact me
directly at firstname.lastname@example.org or contact
the Speakers' Bureau at
I appreciate you sharing this newsletter with
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clicking Send to a Friend button
Wishing you health, peace and balance.
|Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life
SANITY SAVERS: Tips for Women to
Balanced Life is in bookstores and
with suggestions to save
every day of the year.
A must for any woman
seeking to find her balance!
Aging Well in an Unwelcoming Environment
Age is a concept that is neither constant nor
universal. Different cultures view aging in
different ways. In some cultures older people
are revered, respected and sought out for
their wisdom. In the USA we are becoming more
conscious of what it takes to age well, but
that does not mean that as a society we value
our older citizens.
There are too many people who believe that
aging is about diminishment and decline.
Consequently, older people feel
or ignored. While they are still productive,
vital, interested, concerned, they are not
"tapped" for their talents and wisdom by a
younger population that not only values youth
but devalues or ignores the experience and
viewpoints that accompany age.
Aging is about change and change involves
loss. Connected with loss is stress. Some of
us do better with change than others and
there are ways to reduce the stress of
change. The "golden years" are extending by
decades and many of us, because we are
conscious of taking care of ourselves
nutritionally, physically, mentally,
spiritually, financially, emotionally, and
mentally, have made choices to become more
involved with life. We are active,
contributing, taking risks, trying new
things. We are learning, creating, developing
or revisiting our passions, contributing and
giving back to our communities, communing
with nature, traveling to places we had only
read about, meeting new people, enjoying the
emotional depth of relationships, and being
open to intergenerational friendships.
In earlier times generations lived either
together or close by one another. Multiple
generations and extended family members knew
what was going on in each other's lives, and
they talked with and listened to each other.
Because of today's family members living far
from each other or just having "busy,
independent lives" we need to make an effort
to stay interested, involved and
A common recommendation for aging well is to
develop friendships with people from
different age groups. Mix it up! Learn about
different perspectives, music, attitudes.
Keep an open mind for dialogue. In theory
that is great. In practice, many older adults
(whether they are the "young old" or the "old
old") are open to this suggestion and value
the idea of these intergenerational
opportunities to broaden their
The problem is often NOT with them. Younger
people are often resistant to developing
relationships with older folks. As soon as
they find out their numerical age they put
them into a "category" and make assumptions
about that category that reeks of
Some younger people believe that older
people are unhappy. In fact, research shows
that it is older people who are happier and
have a more positive, optimistic attitude.
Some younger people do not have the patience
needed and are less interested in learning
from and sharing with a person whose years of
experience and wisdom can be beneficial to
them. There appears to be "no time" to savor
the relationship or the interaction. Because
of some difficulties with hearing or memory
retrieval or adapting to a slower pace, there
is a blanket dismissal that there is nothing
worth savoring and the opportunity for a
meaningful relationship remains untouched.
Nobody wants to be in a place where he or she
is not wanted or valued.
Take the opportunity to reexamine and
reevaluate our attitude that does everything
possible to extend life spans and make it
possible to live healthfully longer and
precious little to encourage truly respectful
intergenerational exchange. So, to save your
sanity, "reach across the age barrier aisle"
for a broadening experience.
A Good Daily Habit
Enjoying a Few Moments of Solitude
Aloneness is not the same as loneliness.
Solitude lets us have our own undivided
attention, and provides us with an
opportunity to get to know ourselves better
and to explore our inner world without
Take a break from your daily routine and do
nothing for a few minutes. This can help
center, calm and refresh you, and can help
make you more productive as you go back to
Putting a bit of solitude into your life is
essential to your health and happiness.
|Sanity SaversTM TIPS
Getting Through Each Day:
Tips For Having A Bit Less Stress And A Lot More Enjoyment
Life is a series of events, all of which are
potential opportunities for learning. It can
be easy to focus on the negative, making it
more difficult to cope. Although you can't
just will yourself into a different emotional
state, you can begin with changing your
interpretation of events. This is a
deliberate shift in thinking that can enable
you to learn new ways to manage your
How? Focus on the positive of every situation and
understand that no time is wasted if you
integrate the experience into your life and
learn from it.
Following are some tips to incorporate into
- Adapt - Adjust to physical changes
with an attitude of CAN DO rather than that
which I can no longer do.
- Appreciate - Pay attention to at
least three things for which you are
grateful, and focus on them (write them down
each day). You can develop an attitude based
- Enlighten - Learn something new
every day that will enter your "memory bank."
- Connect - Reach out to and accept
overtures from people you care about.
Connecting with friends can boost your immune
system and help keep you well.
- Express - Actively demonstrate
affection to the people in your life.
Sincerely articulate one or two specific
attributes or characteristics or actions that
you appreciate about the people in your life
and do what you can to make sure they "hear"
you and "take it in."
- Laugh - Laugh every day and allow
that feeling to linger.
Keep perspective and appreciate that whatever
you are dealing with is TEMPORARY.
"I never feel age. If you have creative
work, you don't have age or time"
DALE V. ATKINS Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist,
lecturer and commentator in the media who
on the Today show.
She has more than twenty-
years of experience and focuses on living a
life, parenting, aging well, managing stress,
work transitions, family connections and healthy
Dr. Atkins is the author
and/or co-editor of several books including:
Their Private Thoughts about their Private
Families and their Hearing-Impaired
OK, You're My Parents
Let Go of Anger and Create a Relationship that
Wedding Sanity Savers
Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes and
Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect
book . . .
Savers: Tips for Women to
Find out more....
As Seen on the TODAY SHOW!
Wedding Sanity Savers
How to Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes and Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect Day
You're My Parents
How to Overcome Guilt, Let Go of Anger, and Create a Relationship That Works
Now in Paperback!