Thank you for helping to get the word out there
about my new book
(co-authored with Annie Gilbar), Wedding Sanity
As summer winds down and the
school year begins, you may find you are
more stress. In this edition, I am offering:
- Sanity Savers for dealing with
- Tips for knowing when to end a
- Guidelines for new empty nesters sending
kids off to college.
Please pass along this newsletter to your
loved ones and colleagues by clicking Send to a
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Wishing you health, peace and balance.
|Wedding Sanity Savers
As Seen on the TODAY SHOW
My newest book, co-authored with Annie
Gilbar, Wedding Sanity Savers:
How to Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes, and
Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect
Day is the handbook brides everywhere are
reading before they say "I do."
This is THE GUIDE for the emotional ride through all
stages of the wedding process.
Great for to brides, grooms, parents and future in-
Be Less STRESSED
We are all living with more stress today. In this
world of high speed technology, too much information
and overscheduling, it's easy to get overwhelmed by
all the things we have to do in our everyday lives.
And for most, stress seems to kick up a notch in
September when the lazy days of summer are over
and we get back to a faster pace.
How can we maintain some of the "summer calm" and
deal with life's stressors? Here are some Sanity
develop a program to manage your stress and keep
balance every day of the year.
- Develop an optimistic attitude - View
an opportunity for learning and growth.
- Prioritize and do one thing at a time -
have to do everything all at once. Taking tiny steps
each day can help you reach your goals. Identify
- Shed the SUPERPERSON image - There's
kryptonite on earth so let go of being superman,
superworker, supermom, superwife.
- Learn to be satisfied with "less than
Being perfect is impossible. Be more compassionate
with yourself. Learn to quiet self criticism.
- Be less critical of others - Be more
forgiving and patient of others. Listen to their
concerns and find ways to compromise.
- Learn to say NO!
- Let go of things outside of your control -
can't change people and some situations so
why even try?
- Live healthfully and consciously- Eat
well, exercise, get
sleep, build a spiritual connection. Journaling,
imagery and breathing exercises help to gain a
sense of balance.
- Be with people who are good for you -
Spend time with positive
people whom you care about and who care about
- Laugh and play - Take time from work to
life and add humor and creative play to your routine.
- Do what you love to do - Find rewarding
volunteer or pursue a hobby. When a person is
involved with what they love, stress is reduced.
Refill your personal reservoir to balance your
life. Draw on your inner strength to become more
resilient. This will help you to better handle the
stresses in your life.
You can feel less stressed and increase your self -
worth whenever you do new things, stretch your
resourcefulness, develop new skills, improve your
capabilities, cultivate compassion for others, and
contribute to making the world a better place.
|Happening in September
TODAY Show, NBC (Sept. 7th, 9:00 Hour)
Topic: Empty Nesters-When Your Kids Go to
Beth Israel Hospital, NYC (Sept. 27th, 7-
Topic: How Parents Can Maintain A Life in Balance-
A Workshop for Parents of Children Who Have Hearing
92nd Street Y, NYC (Sept. 28th, 8:30pm)
Topic: Self Image-A Work in Progress
Click Below to Register
Relationship Deal Breakers
Letting Go of a Relationship Isn't
couple experiences differences and has
are these differences relationship deal breakers?
Common Deal Breakers
The most common deal breakers are abusive
behavior, addictions, family issues, deception,
children, religion, pre-nuptial agreements, geography
But there are other issues which can also be deal
breakers and these vary from couple to couple (i.e.
smoking, flirting, your partner’s weight, allergies
to your partner's pet).
The Crucial Question: "Am I Trying to
CHANGE this Person?"
Each of us
has our own
standards of what's acceptable and tolerable.
Tolerance is about understanding and accepting
differences between you and
the other person without attempting to change him
may not be a deal breaker if the person who has the
problem discovers what are the underlying issues and
couple works together. The person has to
want to change for him or herself NOT ONLY for
Other Questions to Ask Yourself: Are you totally PREOCCUPIED with this issue?
Are you HOPELESS with regard to creatively
solving the problem?
Are you overly STRESSED?
Do you have PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS that can
be related to your stress, i.e.
sleep problems, loss of appetite, back problems?
Do you believe there is an inability for PERSONAL
GROWTH in this relationship?
Are you unable to be your TRUE SELF?
It May Be Time to Move On
to some of these questions,
try and be honest with yourself that it may be time
to consider ending the relationship. However, if the
issue does not impinge on your life drastically and
threaten you or your sense of yourself then you
might consider staying.
This is an INDIVIDUAL DECISION. Only
can determine if you can live with this person or
not. Listening to opinions from family and friends
may be helpful but their values may be
different from yours.
Consider your level of commitment.
Married partners with children may want to put more
effort into saving the relationship versus a couple
who is dating.
Explore creative ways to deal with the
situation before making your decision. Can you
adjust by setting boundaries or rules? For example, if
someone smokes and you cannot tolerate it, you can
say, “It would be helpful if you
smoke outside and not in the car or the house.”
Can you accept this person (with this
issue) and let go of complaining and nagging? It
is up to you to either accept or adapt to the
situation. You do not have the right to diminish or
YOU Have the Right to a Healthy Life
to leave the relationship and are sure you are doing
this for the RIGHT reasons (your own health and well
being or of those close to you), you will also work
lingering guilt. Moving on with a clear mind can
lead you to a rewarding relationship in the
When Your Kids Go Off to College
As your kids go off to college, are you asking yourself
- Are they really ready to be on their own?
- Am I “finished” parenting, when will I see
them and how will they be?
- Will my child “party” too much?
- Is this the right school for my child?
- Will my child be safe?
Click below to read the full article about surviving
feelings of empty nesting as the academic year
|I'm OK, You're My Parents
Now in Paperback
I'm Ok, You're My Parents: How to
Guilt, Let Go of Anger, and Create a Relationship
That Works is now in paperback!
DALE V. ATKINS Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist,
lecturer and media commentator who appears
on the Today show.
She has more than twenty-
years of experience as a relationship expert,
focusing on families, couples, parenting, aging well
and stress management.
Dr. Atkins is the author
and/or co-editor of several books including
Sisters; From the Heart: Men and
Their Private Thoughts about their Private Lives;
Families and their Hearing-Impaired Children;
OK, You're My Parents and the soon to be
Wedding Sanity Savers.
Find out more....